It continues to be said in different ways, ways that don’t sound like blaming the victim, but empowering. From the myth of rugged individualism to the belief that we chose this life to learn a lesson. We agree to be victims prior to birth. Some say we even choose our parents. One version goes further, claiming that we coordinate our lives with soul friends prior to being born. We get screwed over by the ones we love and it’s all a play wherein the victimizer is actually there to teach the victim a lesson, and vice versa. On all levels, we create our own reality.
We sure do: denial. Victims be damned. Someone needs to tell them.
Tell it to rape victims and those sideswiped by drunk drivers. Tell it to the victims of circumstance born under oppressive regimes. To the victimizers taking advantage of you right now in political office, in banking, in business. Tell it to slaves, to child slaves, to child sex slaves. Tell me there are no terrorists.
Tell the nations of the Amazon losing their homes and cultural identities and lives in someone else’s pursuit of money. Not just human nations. Let’s not stop there. Tell it to the Amazon Rainforest, to the water we drink, the air we breathe. There’s no use crying over spilled oil. Protectors go away.
Tell it to the dolphins and the trees and the abandoned dogs tied to stop signs. To the frogs, to the fish. To the species we never knew existed in the first place going extinct at our hands right now.
Who else coordinated this attack on us for our benefit prior to birth? Is everyone in on it, person, plant, animal, insect? Was Mother Earth in on that meeting, or Father Sun? Are we so human-centric in our thinking that we only include us?
Look, we can carve out a little place of solace in hell and claim there is no hell, or we can get real about our lives. We can claim to have all the power, all the self-control, or we can understand that most things in life, not even some, most, are out of our hands.
This isn’t to say that some people don’t cling to victimhood as an excuse to not take responsibility for their lives. This is not to say that there’s no such thing as an enabler or one who unconsciously seeks out abusive relationships to work on psychological issues. But let’s not pretend that there is no such thing as a victim and negate the responsibility of the victimizer. Let’s not pretend that victimization is purely a human-to-human issue. Let’s not pretend that this control fantasy isn’t a defense mechanism for one’s own fears.
Compassion be damned.